Demoralization and Grief

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About Demoralization, Grief and Loss

When a person is diagnosed with a life-threatening or terminal illness, it can be devastating for them and their loved ones. Because this diagnosis more than likely will end with the passing of the person’s life, it’s normal for them and their loved ones to harbor feelings of grief, loss and deep sorrow at the thought of the person dying. Demoralization is the feeling of discouragement, hopelessness and extreme helplessness a person experiences when diagnosed with a serious medical condition, like cancer or heart disease.

Those experiencing demoralization feel the above sentiments for at least one month and often find that these feelings contribute to the worsening of the medical condition they are currently battling.

Symptoms of Demoralization and Grief:

It can feel extremely overwhelming and cause the person to feel like giving up, as well as:

  • Feeling as though one has failed to meet expectations set by themselves and others
  • Helplessness due to feeling incapable of overcoming the problem
  • Feelings of incompetence
  • A loss of hope and meaning in life

Why There Is Hope for Those Enduring Demoralization, Grief and Loss

Demoralization is not a mood disorder, and therefore can be alleviated with swift intervention from healthcare providers and loved ones. Because demoralization can be prompted by a person feeling they lack support, it’s important for doctors to show support early on. Studies have shown that healthcare practitioners can significantly help a demoralized person feel better by normalizing and sympathizing with their feelings. By expressing to the person, “You are coping normally with a hard situation. Almost anyone would feel as badly as you are feeling in this situation,” a healthcare practitioner or loved one can reassure the demoralized person that they are valid in their emotions and not in need of psychiatric help. Validation can help the person feel seen, heard and understood - thus leading them towards positive thinking and encouragement.

Helping A Loved One and Early Intervention for Demoralization, Grief and Loss

A person diagnosed with an advanced illness or condition may find it difficult to see hope in dark times. Whatever a loved one or healthcare practitioner can do or say to inspire hope and resilience in the face of illness can alleviate feelings of helplessness. Early detection and intervention can prevent a demoralized person from developing more serious depressive symptoms. Because demoralization is less severe than depression, early treatment can be very effective.

How We Treat Demoralization, Grief and Loss

Healthcare practitioners and mental health professionals can help the diagnosed person and their loved ones through psychotherapeutic interventions. Narrative therapy can help rewire negative personal accounts of past failures into stories of hope and resilience. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help the person identify the pessimistic, distorted self-thoughts and reframe them into positive ones. Interpersonal therapy can help the person connect with others so they feel less alone, especially when they don’t have family or friends to support them.

What Ongoing Care Looks Like for Demoralization, Grief and Loss

People who are demoralized are different from those dealing with depression, in that they are still able to find pleasure in pleasurable activities and can function normally. Getting connected with others, promoting positive self-talk and focusing on the things worth fighting for can help a demoralized person find light in a dark situation.

For those that survive a terminally ill loved one, grief therapy can be very beneficial in coping with the difficult loss. Family grief therapy where members receive guidance on processing grief, learning how to develop a connection to the deceased or ailing family member and restoration after their passing can prevent at-risk members from turning to substance abuse to deal with the loss. Cognitive behavioral group therapy has also benefited family members in managing their grief and learning appropriate techniques for expressing emotions. Early education is key and treatment for the family should begin as soon as possible to avoid prolonged grief or development of depressive symptoms later on.

Symptoms of Demoralization and Grief:

It can feel extremely overwhelming and cause the person to feel like giving up, as well as:

  • Feeling as though one has failed to meet expectations set by themselves and others
  • Helplessness due to feeling incapable of overcoming the problem
  • Feelings of incompetence
  • A loss of hope and meaning in life