Experiencing overwhelming reactions to recovery is totally normal for most people. You are definitely not alone in this situation. Being sober created raw, unfiltered feelings that are not used to being so exposed which probably makes everything seem much more challenging to you. Drinking or using away your uncomfortable feelings makes more sense to someone that uses drugs and alcohol as a crutch than it does to outright feel them. Having some insight on why you should continue with recovery when you are feeling so overwhelmed can be the very thing that might save your life.
Knowledge is power.
Learning everything that you can about your addiction, or as the medical professionals call it, your disease, can give you the real choice of trying to get sober. The obsession of the mind and the physical dependence on drugs and alcohol make it difficult for someone to stop what they are doing. Having knowledge that there is a way out of your addiction can almost make you feel guilty in a sense for not taking the opportunity that you know will better your life in recovery.
Acceptance is the answer.
When you cease fighting the solution, you will find a freedom and a peace that will far outweigh the doom and gloom that you feel every time you need to get high. Recovery may be overwhelming, but addiction is just plain miserable when you cross that line of not being able to stop no matter what you try. Having the acknowledgement that you cannot safely drink, or use keeps you from letting your addiction defeat you any longer. You are only surrendering to the inevitable which is the answer you will receive in your recovery.
If you cannot beat it then join them.
You may have tried repeatedly to stop the insanity of your drinking and using to no avail. Most people with addictions cannot stop abusing substances without some help. Join a 12-Step program or a support group to find people that make you feel like you belong. Addiction might have made you feel like an outsider. There are people that have suffered from the same trauma and stress that you have who have walked through it without a drink or drug. Pick their brain to see what they did and then follow suit. Recovery can seem overwhelming until you consider everything that you put into your addiction. By taking an honest look at what really happens during your addiction, you will hopefully find that recovery is the more tolerant resolution.