The misconception of forgiveness is that it is more for the other person than it is for yourself. Forgiveness is meant for you. Being able to forgive means that you can set free the negative emotions that go along with a situation that needs some mercy. This does not mean that you should allow someone that is toxic in your life any longer nor does it mean that you have that you have to forget what they did to you. All forgiveness really means is that you are accepting what happened and moving on for the sole purpose of gaining back your serenity and focusing on your recovery.
By giving yourself some grace for your past mistakes, you can dole out forgiveness to others, too. Using the 12 Steps is a great tool to figure out your part in certain circumstances that you just cannot stop thinking about. The 12 Steps are based off rigorous honesty which can help you to see what you did wrong and push ahead instead of being stuck in the same spot.
Let it go
Whatever “it” is, let it go. If you keep repeatedly reliving what has happened, it will keep you in a redundantly bad situation to prevent you from making headway in your recovery program. If you let it go, you can see the exact nature of the wrong, learn from it, and use it towards your advantage if the wrongdoing happens again.
Clean the slate
To achieve true forgiveness there must not be a scorecard kept about past mistakes that were made. In recovery, moving forward with a clean slate takes the weight of the world off your shoulders. Having a clear conscious does more good for your psyche than holding onto negative feelings that will only mentally tear you down.
Drop the rock
If you have ever heard the phrase that “people in glass houses should not throw stones”, you should use this viewpoint towards your forgiveness. Everyone makes mistakes. Remembering that you have also made mistakes can cause you to become more lenient with other people’s shortcomings since others have forgiven you, especially where your addiction is concerned.
Forgiveness is all about changing your perception to become one that is an advantage to your recovery. You have already overcome so much with the cessation of your addiction that forgiving could be one more action that can give you the upper hand and make you the bigger person.