Addiction can be characterized by denial and delusions that the person who is under the influence will usually perpetuate with complete contradiction.
Seeing someone battle addiction is just like that. One day they may be crying about how miserable their life is and they need to stop drinking or using. The next day they do not need any help and are sure they are only enduring some bad luck. This type of yo-yo thinking creates dishonesty that people with substance abuse will convince themselves is the truth regardless of any deceit.
“Maybe I am overreacting. I was not that bad when I drank or used.”
This statement is quite common in addiction because trying to imagine life without drugs and alcohol is scary to someone that is dependent on them. Someone that is addicted to drugs and alcohol will conveniently “forget” what it is really like when the addiction takes over. Instead of facing the truth that everything is falling down around them, the drugs and alcohol make things look differently than what they really are.
“This is my life. No one else is being affected by what I am doing.”
People that are addicted to drugs and alcohol have self-medicating blinders on that tell them that they are not involving their loved ones, co-workers, classmates, or acquaintances with their questionable decisions. The fact of the matter is that addiction affects everyone that it comes in contact with and then some.
“This just is not a good time to stop. Others need me.”
There is a fallacy among people that are active in their addiction that life cannot go on without them or that their family will suffer if they are away at treatment. The best time to get treatment is right now. There maybe family members that can help with children for the duration of treatment and all types of rehabs that are accommodating. Someone that is abusing drugs and alcohol is not helping anyone if they are unable to help themselves first.
“Stopping drugs and alcohol is for quitters.”
The mistaken belief is that having an addiction or having to stop drinking or using makes a person weak. This is actually the opposite of what is taking place. By getting sober, someone is taking control of their life and exhibiting great strength.
Someone who has a pattern of drug or alcohol addiction has probably started believing their own rationalizations to keep up the veneer of dependence. To really help a loved one who has one justification after another is to do what it takes to disenthrall the deception.